It may seem strange, but the use of language when dealing with children is very important in the way you deal with your children.  I often come across parents who talk to their very young children in a peculiar type of language that is English, but not the English you and I use.  Its called baby talk.

You know what I mean, “does baby waby want a little drinky?”, or “do you want to go to the toily?”.  Sounds ridiculous when you see it in print doesn’t it?  Yet you would be surprised at the number of children who regularly use ridiculous words in everyday speech and think nothing of it!  What is worse, is that there parents think that it is cute!

Why is this a problem?  Well, lets think about what is actually happening.  Before a child is able to speak, its brain goes through a number of developmental changes.  At certain stages the brain is ready to develop language skills.  It is at this point that the kind of language the child is exposed to is very important.  The child will learn to use the language it is taught by it parents.  Unfortunately, at this stage in the child’s life, some parents start teaching their children a language that no one else uses – baby talk!  Of course, when the child gets older the parents will expect the child to speak properly, and there in lies a problem – because this means that the child has to learn two languages!  One after the other!  Why not just speak to them properly and that way they do not have to waste time and effort unlearning something they just learnt!.

Obviously, the smart thing to do is talk to your children the way you talk to everyone else!  If you want them to have another language, make it a language that they can use in later life.  It is always good to be bilingual.

But let’s not stop there.  Not only is there Baby Talk, but there are particular types of local language that fit certain socio/economic groups.  This means that the kind of language you use with your children will affect them in the future.  For example, if you finish every sentence that you say with the letter “a”, then so will your children.  Do you want them to say things like “it’s a bonza of a day, A?”  You might not think that is a bad thing, but in today’s world, the person who talks like that is often the last person to win the interview for a high paying job.

You might say “I don’t talk like that so there’s no problem!” But your vocabulary is only part of the way we talk to our children.  Ask yourself how do you actually talk to your children?  What are your favourite sayings?  How do you express yourself when you are upset, frustrated, tired, angry?  Or happy, relaxed, mellow?  Are you using the same language in both instances?  Do you actually look at your children when you talk to them?  Do you listen to what they say?  Do you fob them off or do you answer their questions no matter how difficult the answer may be?

My wife and I made a deliberate decision that we would speak to our children as accurately and clearly as possible.  That we would relate to them as people and talk seriously about the issues they bring up.  When my 3 year old asks “Daddy, what’s that” while pointing to graphic on a web site that I am looking at on my computer, I explain that it is a picture or drawing that someone put on their web site, just like she does when she glues a picture on a piece of cardboard.  I then explain what a web site is and how I can look at it with my computer.  It took a little time, but now she has a number of words in her vocabulary that she will use a lot in the future, and I feel better because I did not say “this is just stuff for daddy and never you mind”.  She would not have learnt anything and I would have lost a valuable opportunity to relate to my daughter and enjoy her childhood.    After all, if we are not going to enjoy our kids – why bother having them!

How we talk to our children and the language we use is very important for another reason.  There have been many studies carried out on child learning, and the development of intelligence.  There have been many observations that have been made and a number of theories established.  The one that grabs my attention, is the theory that intellectual development is enhanced in children who have had parents who used clear language, interacted with their children in an intelligent manner, gave lots of positive reinforcement and treated their children with a lot of loving.

So let me get to the point of all of this.  I believe that if you use adult language with your children, interact with them in an intelligent manner, do not impede their language development with Baby Talk and love them a lot – then you will get intelligent children who are confident and have an enhanced likelihood of success in life.  I don’t know about you, but to me that is pretty important.