Starting School

The school year has started and those of us with young children are marching them off to their first year of school.  It’s an exciting time!  But it also can be a very tiring time, and is important that we take this into account as we establish our new routines for school.

Some parents forget that going to school is actually physically tiring.  Apart from the fact that Children now have to get up early and can't sleep in (even harder if they go to before and after school care), they are spending a considerable period of the day learning to think differently!  And here comes the surprise - thinking actually consumes energy too!  Our brain consumes its own weight in protein every month!

So this means that our children are learning new skills, learning new routines, learning to socialise with others and how to fit in, and learning to physically cope with the energy drain that all of this entails.

So let me state the obvious, in this kind of new environment the kids will be tired and may come home from school, as you would expect, feeling tired and exhausted.  Don’t forget that they will be tired in the morning too!

Well, I have not said anything that we have all not thought of before.  In fact, it is rather obvious isn't it?  Unfortunately, even though it may be obvious, and everyone has thought of it before, there are times when we do not cater for it.  Further, kids are not always that articulate in expressing themselves and they may not even be aware that they are tired!  Instead, they will be intolerant, irritable, uncooperative, easily upset and complaining (sound familiar?).

So, lets look at a common scenario. You pick the kids are from school, you bundle them into the back of the car, toss in the school bags (which are always heavy) and they fight all the way home!  You’re tired, and your tolerance for these disputes is markedly reduced!  So what happens?  You lose your cool.  You decide to do something as the kids are getting under your skin.  So, you apply some discipline to the situation!  You try to stop the squabbling.  You intervene.  But because you are tired (and so are they), your intervention may not be the smartest thing you've ever done in your life.  In fact, you might really put your foot into it, and make things worse.  Sound familiar?  (Its what happens to me!)

So what has happened to cause this situation?  Answer, everyone was too tired to think straight, and listen straight.  Consequently, the situation got out of hand, the intervention was inappropriate (and doomed to failure) and everyone got stressed out.  It got worse.  Of course, this is a simplistic example, but we all can relate to problem in one way or another. 

The important thing is what steps to take to avoid the problem.  And this is another way of stating what is obvious to us all.

One of the reasons that any person gets tired, irritable etc is simply because they are hungry!  Children have small bodies and importantly, small stomachs.  They cannot store up the energy reserves that an adult can, so they run out of puff quickly.  Yet, when the kids get home from school, many parents do not want to feed them straight away because it will “spoil their tea”.  Yet dinner time can be a few hours away and we all know what that feels like when you’re hungry!

So, the obvious solution is to give a little food immediately upon arrival at home and then the main meal a few hours later when the rest of the family is home.  In the meantime, they will feel better and so will you.  However, the problem is not yet over.  They will still be tired.

They also need some wind down time from school and just like the rest of us, some personal space.  Although, contradictorily they also need some family time – love and affection.

In the morning, the cycle repeats itself.  They are tired when they wake up, and they often have to be woken up for school, and then it’s the rush to get them changed, fed and cleaned and then off to school.  By the end of the week everyone is exhausted!

And that brings me to my next point.  The kids aren’t the only ones exhausted!  Parents are exhausted as well.  Worse if you are a working couple, worse if you are a single parent, and frankly, not much better if you live in the lap of luxury.  All in all, it’s a tough shift.

So let me get to my main point (I often take this long to do so).  All of this means that routines are very important.  In fact they are crucial.  You as a parent have to anticipate the needs of your children and anticipate your capacity and ability to cope at the same time.  The simply process of logistics have to be addressed, and one has to think ahead.  Playing it by ear, never works, but does a great job of creating bigger problems for later on.

Routines are essential.  They help you keep things under control. They give the kids reassurance and limits.  And they make households runs smoothly.

Advance planning minimises the chance of being caught out.  It allows you to plan for contingencies.  You never get caught off guard.  Sounds good doesn’t it.  But it will only work if you think about what you are dealing with – fatigue, distraction, lack of sleep.  Worse if you have a history of bad temper or never getting organised.

So plan ahead, establish a routine, take into account that you children will be tired, and so will you.  Recognise that they now need other considerations now that they are going to school.  Plan!  And never forget, that you cannot love your children too much!

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